This step is essential to having a peaceful house hold. Let’s look at the home as having an emotional climate.
As we are experiencing globally, as the climate gets more unstable, it affects the whole environment – it has a ripple effect. It affects some areas differently from others, for instance on the east coast of Australia we have just had one of the wettest summers experienced in our lifetime whereas on the west coast they had heat wave after heat wave.
In the house hold when our emotional climate is unstable, the kids behave differently. From observation the more calm the parents are the calmer the children are. The more upset a parent is, stressed out, overwhelmed then the more the kids seem to play up or act out or withdraw. Some children will show you very clearly the affects, of having an unstable emotional climate is having, whilst others will withdraw or behave beautifully in the hopes that if they are good, do enough or offer enough solutions that they can fix the problem and have your love and attention back.
They naturally look for cues as babies.
They learn if they smile we will smile back.
Babies believe everything is connected to them and they can sense when something is wrong! We’d call this intuition and as adults we all understand that a bad gut feeling about something is not good, we know the something is wrong in the emotional climate! But to really understand this, we need to step into the science of this connection. The Heartmath Institute states the following:
The intuitive abilities people have exhibited through the ages and which cannot be explained by stored memories or the brain’s analytic capability, seem to point to an energy field the body is connected to via sensory perception. They believe this field houses the information we attribute to intuition. Studies by the Hearthmath Institute and others over the last half-century have added to the evidence of the intuitive process. The 2004 HeartMath study Electrophysiological Evidence of Intuition, concluded that a level of unconscious perception often is evidenced by subtle changes in emotions and measurable physiological changes that can be detected throughout the body. The study’s authors noted that of particular significance was finding “electrophysiological evidence that the heart is directly involved in the processing of information about a future emotional stimulus seconds before the body actually experiences the stimulus.”
But wait there’s more…
There has been some scientific experiments that show that a mother rabbit will react when her babies are hurt whether they are in the same room, different room, different building, different city or even different country. Twin studies has shown that they know when something has happened to their twin. We are connected and the bonds are strong when it’s your family.
So if you are experiencing depression, anxiety, anger, grief, sadness, worry and not dealing with it you are more likely to start seeing that in your children too.
So you need to heal yourself – deal with your emotional climate...
Take responsibility for it, work out what it is. It’s likely to be something from your past that hasn’t been resolved. Like James’ fear of public speaking it never got released (refer to my previous post Step 6 – Allow them to own their own story).
My preferred method of releasing old hurts is using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) but others may use therapy or something else that is body based therapy like Kinesiology or BodyTalk. The benefit of learning EFT is that you can do it on yourself and you don’t need to rely on someone else to “fix” you.
The important message here is to heal thyself so that you’re issues do not start showing up in the mirror and in your children. They are learning from you every moment you interact with them and it’s not enough telling them not to do it, not to make the same mistake, it becomes learned behaviour. And many times we don’t know we have a problem, we can’t see it but our partners can, or our children show us. Use them as your guides.
Is your home peaceful?
Do your children experience anger, anxiety, overwhelm and sadness?
What can you do today to bring about that peace?
Are there areas that need improving?
Get help from an experienced family counsellor/practitioner, preferably someone who knows EFT or similar meridian tapping/energy techniques. Unfortunately, just having talk therapy or taking prescription drugs may not bring change quickly. This is why I tend to work with parents intensively to get real results quickly. If you want help with your family, contact me.