I always know that when my kids have a friendly crack at me and I don’t see the funny side of it that it’s time to stop and look at the way I live my life. I use to be one of those mothers/employees/friends/wives/(put any label here) that tried to please everyone and be perfect at what I did and that led me to a very nasty point in my life where it all fell apart (thank god for that!). I never want to go back there! For my kids sake, for my sake and for the people I now work with who I tell to stop and notice how they feel, what they feel, where they are and what choices they have to feel peace/love/joy or another positive emotion.
I love that book named “Don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s all small” because when you do stop to think about it… that is sooooo right! That one sentence is so profound.
If I look at just my life, I can see that even the worst possible outcome in any given situation is not the worst thing that could happen to me or to humanity.
If my daughter got pregnant, then we’d work things through, there are options for support and schooling these days. It’s not like when I was younger and fell pregnant at 18, with little support. I made it… it was hard! Why couldn’t she? Of course she could (she’s much smarter than me)!
What if my son kept getting more tattoos! OK, well he’s old enough now to live with the responsibility of his body and how he looks after it. I have voiced my concerns and that’s all I can do. What is the point of worrying about it further? I love him regardless of what he does to himself and it’s his journey, not mine. So worrying won’t help him, if anything, it will hinder our relationship… time to let that one go.
OK, you may say… what if one of your kids died?
That would be tragic and the worst possible thing that could happen and I would grieve for so long… but my life would not stop at that point. I would continue, I would have to, of my sake and the rest of my family. It would be by no means small stuff but worrying about it won’t help either. So I choose to let that worry go too!
So yes, I do need to reassess and think through any fears and examine the truth behind the fear because in reality, in most cases I would recover and get on with life. So when my kids have a joke with me and I don’t laugh… I start looking at what I’m taking too seriously in life! It’s my worrying that needs the re-adjustment and not the kids.